What Lies Beneath
by theinspired
Summary: Clint attends therapy sessions to address his experience with Loki. Selvig will eventually make an appearance. M for explicit vocabulary in later chapters.


Chapter 1: A Difficult Case

Doctor Teresa Hayes tapped her fingers on the arm of the chair, studying the man across from her. Clint Barton. A SHIELD agent, archer, assassin, Avenger – one of the six people who had saved the world just six weeks ago. A definite hero.

Yet, this man, who had faced more dangerous people in his lifetime, refused to look her in the eye.

She sighed. "Why are you here, Agent Barton?"

His jaw clenched, his hands stilling their idle movements. He stared at his lap.

"You know damn well why," he replied tightly.

"You've been in this room for thirty minutes and you've barely said a word." She leaned forward. "If you're this reluctant to receive treatment, why did you attend this session?"

He looked toward the door. "Director's orders."

"And do you know why Director Fury ordered you here?"

He raised a hand, rubbing his palm over his eyes before looking downward again.

"My mental condition has been hindering my performance during missions and is creating an increasingly tense environment for the team," he spoke dully, as if reciting a passage from a text.

"Thank you, Nick," she said lightly.

This caused Barton to look up finally, frowning in confusion. _Probably the first time he has heard anyone refer to the Director by his first name_, she mused. But she had his attention.

"This is about you, Barton. Nothing leaves this room. I don't want to hear Fury's thoughts, or Stark's, or anyone else's. Just _yours_. If you can't share them, then you might as well leave now."

He stared at her for a moment and then settled back into his chair. "Well, that can't happen."

She relaxed slightly. "Alright. Now that we're on the same page, just _why_ are you so reluctant?"

He snorted, rubbing his forehead. "I could really use a drink."

"I need an answer."

He sobered immediately, biting his lip.

"I'm not overly fond of being picked apart."

She nodded. "Okay. So you're equating this conversation to what Loki did to you."

When he looked at her this time, it was a sharp glare.

"Subconsciously or consciously, that is what you're doing, is it not?"

He shook his head. "You're nothing like him."

Hayes raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Because I'm a woman?"

He gave her an exasperated look, appearing as if he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. "No. Because you have no control over me."

"I don't have control over you? A minute ago, I ordered you to answer a question and you obeyed."

"That's different. That's following orders. That's not..." he trailed off, releasing a deep breath.

"And how is 'following orders' different?" she asked, curious to see where his logic lead.

"I don't _have_ to follow them." He sighed. "It's a choice."

"Whereas Loki didn't give you a choice."

He nodded.

"So you feel helpless."

He frowned. "No. Not helpless. I'm not _desperate_."

"Interesting. You seem to have a strong disapproval of that word."

"What? Desperate?"

"Yes," she replied. "What about desperation upsets you?"

"Desperation doesn't upset me. I'm just not desperate."

"Then what are you?"

He swallowed, looking away with a pained expression. "You mean, what do I feel."

"Yes."

"Guilt," he said softly.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

His eyes flicked up to hers. She could see the grief in them.

"I killed people. Good, honest people. I killed _agents_."

Hayes would give him a reassuring touch at this point, but Barton would not appreciate the gesture. Barton was closed off, almost an introvert. Any sign of affection would be reacted to defensively, enlarging the distance between them. She wanted him to trust her on some level. Her hands remained in her lap.

"That was not your fault."

She expected him an angry or violent reaction, judging by the content in his file, but he only chuckled.

"Yeah. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that," he snapped derisively.

"Why don't you believe it?"

He gave her a serious look. "Why should I?"

"Because you weren't in control."

"I _was_ in control," he countered.

"Alright. Let's look at this objectively." She paused. "What exactly did Loki do? Simply."

"For lack of a better term...he brainwashed me."

"To believe what?"

"To believe in him."

"Believe in him how? As a god?"

"As a commander," he clarified.

"Ah. Okay," Hayes said in understanding. "Loki replaced your loyalty to SHIELD with a loyalty to him."

Barton's eyes betrayed his passive expression. She could clearly see his shock and wonder.

"Well, I definitely haven't heard that before."

She smiled. "That's why you're here, Barton. I'm going to help you understand and eventually accept what happened to you. So you can move on from this guilt."

He nodded. "And how soon will I be able to continue field work?"

"As soon as I sign off on it," she replied.

Barton gave her a bland look. That was not the answer he wanted.

"There is no way to project the duration of your recovery," she explained calmly, scanning his features for any negative reaction. He remained silent and still. "It's a learning process. I'm teaching you look at the situation far differently than you have been previously. This isn't going to be easy and it won't happen overnight. But if you attend your sessions and cooperate with me, this process will be a little easier."

He only nodded in response, reverting his gaze to his lap.

"I understand your need to fulfill your duty as an agent, but your mental health is more important."

He stood. "I believe the hour is over."

She stood as well, knowing he wouldn't leave until he was dismissed. "Would you beg to go in the field if you had a serious injury?"

"Of course not." He looked baffled.

"This is the same, Barton. Only the problem isn't immediately visible."

"And there's no projected recovery time," he added sullenly.

"Just work with me," she urged. "Be patient."

"I'll do my best."

"Good. That should do it for today. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied.

She watched him exit the room and released a sigh. This was going to be a difficult case.

* * *

A/N: I hope I did Clint justice. There's not much material on him to get a full grip of his character so I did my best with the dialogue. Review and let me know how I did. :)

Also, if anyone has any ideas of what Clint and Teresa should talk about, add it in your review. If I decide to use one of your ideas, I'll send you a PM and put a special shout out at the beginning of the chapter in which it appears. Hope you guys liked this so far.


End file.
